Emerald Men's Shed
Hills Hub, 400A Belgrave-Gembrook Rd, Emerald, Vic
0490 851 835


Australian Men's Shed Association








Hi Men. Having a great time at home fixing plumbing issues!

Editor’s Note: Is the water tuned off at the Mains!!!!

Alan B

Standing in the veggie patch the other day looking at my job list, disguised as a toilet roll, I had a strange experience: I was out in the drive washing the “Yella Terra" in preparation for the car show and here is the car at the car show all clean. The Car Show seems very quiet - in fact it’s deserted. This damn virus has a lot to answer for. At least I will get the Car of the Show Award.

Then we were driving home disappointed and decided to go fishing for a few days - obviously not a fisherman as I had no luck once again. Then I remembered Graeme had said to catch any decent fish you need a boat - any size boat will do. So not to be outdone, out comes the ‘beast’. So, with lures on line and fishing rod attached to the ski pole we took off across the lake. Strange things kept happening - the lure kept flying out of the water - maybe I was using the wrong lure, maybe was designed for flying fish. Maybe I should design a different lure – ‘with fins to keep it down’. But then again, Graeme, do you think 60 mile an hour is a bit fast? Again, we had a disappointing time catching no fish.

Then we left fishing and got home in time for happy hour – surprising what you can catch at home.

Then in the distant background I heard Yvonne say “Haven’t you finished that strawberry bed yet you must have been daydreaming.” Sigh!!!!!


Getting ready for Show              All cleaned and sparkly


Need a boat to fish from

What will I catch?              Caught some Wine!


The Dream is over – back to work

Editor’s Note: Midsummer Night’s (sorry) “Day’s” Dream – I hope to dream wine was good.

Graeme Blackburn

Our first “Shed “newsletter was a great start for future episodes, & I found the content extremely good. In fact, some of the content was yelling out & telling me to write a poem, so off I went, plagiarising various aspects to create the below ditty.

Covid19; insidious by nature and hard to control,
and being home all day leaves such a large hole

To those of us that are normally flat chat,
we’re now at wits end and feeling quite flat.

But I’m all excited that Wednesday’s now here,
being inside without even a beer,

Cause the garbage man comes but once a week,
giving me exercise I’ve been eager to seek.

What an occasion!!! What will I wear?
maybe a suit or something with flair.

Cause it’s super exciting to stroll down the drive,
with bin under tow.... Wow, I AM still alive.

The lady next door to her cat she was talking,
silly cow, she certainly needs a lot more walking.

Just groom the cat or run it a bath.
I told my dog and we had a good laugh.

Isolation just confuses; with our mind in a fog,
could make us good cooks, or just hit the grog.

Had a problem at Easter...where to go, or do some fixin,
the choice was endless.... The Bedroom; the Lounge or maybe the Kitchen.

Social distancing from fridge became a huge matter,
My pants won’t fit...getting fatter & fatter.

Copious amounts of sanitisers and soaps - I think it’s funny,
when I take a piss, it cleans the dunny.

I’m drinking too much and without a coaster,
so asked the opinion of microwave and toaster,

They thought it ok, but said I’m a teaser,
I disagreed, so I asked the freezer,

It frowned at me and looked ever so cold,
Said don’t be stupid, you’re just getting old.

Ah, I thought; the Hoover is one who could change my luck,
but alas he said; ...get real you dick, just suck it up.”

So then, with my coffee I took a large sip,
and the doorknob piped up; ”just get a good grip”

I spoke to the washing machine for quite a long while,
Just puts a new spin on things, but that’s his style.

In desperation, I asked the front door,
and in reply, “Your simply unhinged......need I say more”?

My household friends have been terrific,
but in their general opinion? ... “I’m as thick as a brick”.

So I called in my dog & we had a long chat,
and he agreed, as a matter of fact,

That the rest of the house got it dead right,
that a cat can’t talk, for trying it might.

So the moral of the story is; ‘to the lady next door’,
You can talk to your cat with words galore,

But for a cat to answer, that’s just crazy,
just ask my friends and they’re certainly not hazy,

Cause in a meeting they held to discuss this matter,
the Fridge and Hoover and all of the latter,

They agreed it IS a load of crap,
the lady in question should take a long nap.

If the weather tomorrow is nice and fine,
I’ll venture outside to pass some time.

This will be an exciting excursion,
like an overseas trip, at least MY version.

The sun on my back, an absolute treat,
and to walk round the yard, an inspiring feat.

I’ll ask my new friends and the Dishwasher too,
if we can chat again, once I am through.

So all in all, isolation’s not bad,
I have new friends so I won’t go mad.

“Hey Toaster, what’s on Tele tonight”?

Editor’s Note: Forget your Day Job - Keep up the Poems.

Mark G

Been an interesting few weeks’ here - 1st week started unloading the van after realizing our 6-month trip we had been planning for the past 2 years wasn't going to happen. So, we had to cancel all bookings we had made months ago - may start again next year.

We decided to get more chooks since we gave ours to the neighbours’ prior to going away - good idea at the time. However, it’s not so easy to get chooks in a lockdown. We got some eventually and set the coop back up.

Few days after that we knocked up another veggy garden, complete with igloo hoops so that we can net it to stop the birds (still need the net) - some seeds are up already. The rest of the gardens looking really good, probably because we burnt most of it through having a fire every week; - another one ready now as trees have come down.

Moved a big garden table and a stag horn using the backhoe, (table 500kgs and Stag Horn 350kg). The stag horn took a bit to set up - needed some heavy spikes and turnbuckles to set it again - you get too many ideas in a lockdown.

Caught up with Wayne gave him a couple of brush cutters to keep him busy he did ask about the shed but I don't think he's coming back we should have a sit down and get things sorted with him.

Still after a kitchen for the bungalow, finished the painting finally and carpeted the floors. Will be an ongoing project for a while I would think.

We are now looking after 2 boys, so couple of bikes went missing from shed 2, (Kenny, - will have'm back when the boys go home.
Catch you guys hopefully at the shed. cheers Mark G

Editor’s Note: Sorry, I think that the birds will gat passed the hoops – unless they are ‘Condors’

Very Heavy Table              Massive Stag Horn


Editor’s Note: What can I say – “impressive Table”.
Editor’s Note: Is the Stag Horn holding the tree up?

Russell J

The House painting project is most finished. All four walls have been completed, with only some pickets and barge boards to finish off. Next project is to fill the woodshed with wood.


Editor’s Note: Think a Scaffold should be treated the same as a Ladder – “your too old to climb them” – Great job on the house

Tom C

My daughter and grandson are staying with us – all good. Home schooling – not a problem. THEN was told that the grandson needs to continue his drumming lessons at home.


Editor’s Note: Had to play 1960’s Rock real loud to combat the Drums

Glenn W

Time to clean up the shed. What do you think??

Editor’s Note: I think that the garage looks fine. If it is too clean, it’s not a man cave.

The Leprechaun says its NOT a man cave its a shed!!
Yes dear!!!



  Portal engine source code is copyright © 2018 by Emerald Mens Shed. All Rights Reserved